we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
i think my mom watched the whole time
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
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