Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize