I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
