I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Randomize
