my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
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