Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
