Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
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