I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
my phone needs a breathalizer
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
