Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
