It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Randomize
