I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
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