I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
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