one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
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