I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize