the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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