I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I supernannyed him into submission
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
