There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
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