The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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