I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
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