Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
