need another drink. this is the easiest way
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I love having hate sex.
The beer is more important than you right now.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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