Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
