I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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