She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
you will always have a special place in my vag
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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