The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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