he told me I talked like a deaf person
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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