who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
