Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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