he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
