is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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