Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
