Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize