Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
