Midget sex pt 2 tonight
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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