ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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