Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize