i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
