hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
