We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Randomize