woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
