Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
