At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize