Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
