How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
It's shark week go big or go home
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
