Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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