Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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