i already hear my dad disowning me
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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