farters have to be the big spoon...
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
