are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
