I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
either way he was missing a nipple.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
