marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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