Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize