it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
