ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
This is the high leading the old right now
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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