i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize