We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
