sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
