i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
