Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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