Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
