ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Randomize
