Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
