My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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