i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
