at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
