I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
