I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
