she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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